Operating Instructions for The Sasquatch Finder 

WARNING: Do not leave this magical object out of its pouch in the forest. It will heat up as it gets nearer to the Sasquatch. Leaving it unattended in dry grass could cause a forest fire should a Sasquatch walk by. It is recommended that you carry an asbestos oven mitt in case you get really close to your intended target.

DIRECTIONS: Remove the Sasquatch Finder from its gold pouch and place it in your hand. As it senses the Sasquatch, you will feel it pull like a magnet towards the beast. If the temperature of the finder heats up to ninety degrees Farenheit, it means you are within one thousand yards of the Sasquatch. One hundred and twenty degrees F means the creature is five hundred yards away. The makers of this product have not tested it closer than five hundred yards, so be careful if it gets super crazy hot. This means you are really close! Remember: the Sasquatch can read your mind. Good luck!

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